abreaction

Welcome to my website! I'm planning on using this site as both an online diary and a portfolio for some of my art. I'm 19 years old and a second year university student. I'm a psychology major and despite being a receptionist currently, I'm working on obtaining my RBT certification. I'm really passionate about leftist politics, psych, and anatomy, so I'll be talking a lot about those subjects on my page!

Additionally, as this is a diary there may be the occasional vent. I have autism + adhd, PTSD, bipolar type mixed, and BPD diagnosed. Most of my vents will be about my struggles with these disorders and the trauma associated with them.

Thank you for reading! ꒰ঌ(˶ˆᗜˆ˵)໒꒱

today i had two classes, but i woke up feeling like shit so i only attended one. i didnt think this online diary would turn sour so quick but life has been a bitch today. i was in a lab with two people, some guy and a girl named ashe who is really cool. the guy was really annoying and was a total misogynist. literally was mansplaining the concept of "not all men" to me. like fuck off bro. the worst part of today though was that my dad lost 1.4k of his monthly spendings, those spendings being what keeps me afloat each month. i feel extremely miserable. i feel like im begging the world for a miracle. i just dont want to kill myself yet. i have aspirations and a fiancee i love to the moon and back. i just want to cry in her arms, but i dont think she loves me as much as i love her. i wish i could ask her to come over and she would. i wish i could rely on her because shes the only person that makes me feel safe.

the past few weeks have been rough to say the least. moving has been a lot to deal with, family has been difficult to manage, but i think that things are starting to look up from here (or im extremely manic!). i feel a lot more productive now that my living space is clean. i still need to clean the kitchen and do laundry but once i do that things should finally be chill (thank fuck). im starting to feel like things will work out. things have been good with jordan, we had a really nice date yesterday and tonight we're going to watch the new backrooms movie. im really excited for it. this year a load of amazing horror movies have been released and its only may. im super stoked to see what's going to be released when halloween starts approaching. i think the two best horror movies ive seen this year were undertone and obsession. undertone is super underrated, the whole movie had me at the edge of my seat. with obsession though, it was just amazing all around. i have no critiques in regard to the execution, unlike other movies that handle these themes, it's really in your face that the main character is a total POS. i could rant for hours about this stuff haha. anyway, im gonna start studying. next week i have two exams and i really want to ace them!